I sometimes wonder if my writing is like an episode of Seinfeld....a whole lot of words about absolutely nothing. It led me to look back through time, to see exactly what others have said about those of us who talk too much....and let's face facts folks, I fall very deeply into that category.
"In general those who nothing have to say Contrive to spend the longest time in doing it."
James Russell Lowell
"Wise men talk because they have something to say, fools because they have to say something." Plato
"My tongue within my lips I rein: For who talks much must talk in vain."
John Gay
"Don't be afraid to talk to yourself. It's the only way you can be sure somebody's listening." Franklin P. Jones
Do I talk people's ear off? Do people see me coming and think "uh-oh she never shuts up"....which led me to search even further when I found this article...
"Do You Talk Too Much?"
At work, do people tend to look away when you walk by because they're afraid you'll bend their ear?
By Marty Nemko, Contributing Columnist, Kiplinger.com
April 2007
"Think of someone who's long-winded (we all know such people). Chances are you also think of him or her as boring and self-absorbed. But is it possible people think you are a long-winded Benny Blowhard or Chatty Cathy? The more questions to which you answer yes, the more concerned you should be.
First, the problem. Do your pronouncements routinely exceed one minute? Do you wander off on tangents rather than staying on topic? Do your listeners often show signs of lack of interest, such as fidgeting, looking away, interrupting you or frequently saying "uh-huh" to push you to get on with it? Yes, some people are poor listeners by nature. But if you observe a lack of interest among more than a fourth of the people you converse with, the problem is more likely you."
Wow....this sounds all too familiar, yikes...I know I talk a lot, but am I self-absorbed too??? Absorbed....as in orb.....as in I expect the world to revolve around me---I don't think so. I'd much rather be an observer and just fly under everyone else's radar…until, of course, I began writing my blog and my desire to melt into the sidewalk as people stroll by, completely evaporated. A long time ago, I left behind the incredibly shy teenager from Jr. High, and although for years I had a slight phobia about cold calling people on the phone, that disappeared when I began working in the legal field.
I'm often times reminded, that this lovely little habit of mine began in elementary school where I was not such a great student, rather instead a social butterfly, flitting from person to person to chat. My Mother recalls a teacher making such a comment...I was more interested in talking than learning...who ME??? She has also made mention that she felt strongly that I was born with a phonograph needle in my mouth, that just keeps going on and on and on...at least I think that's how she describes it.
To add insult to injury, if you know me at all, you are aware that I speak very quickly. I have a clear childhood memory of an adult neighbor of mine, point blank asking me why I talked so often and so quickly…my response is the same one I have been giving people for years…I guess I just wanted someone to pay attention to me and I had to fight tooth and nail to be noticed. I only had one speed, super fast and constant. I know for a fact, that to this day, if I'm very excited about a particular subject, I flip my words completely around, my mind works too fast and there is no hope that my mouth will ever catch up to it. I have a bad habit of interchanging people's names at the most inopportune moments…big booboo on my part this past weekend when I tried to pair up Scott and Taryn in a conversation…yikes, how silly of me…because that would mean Stacey and Brian are together and that's just weird!!! All kidding aside, I always feel sorry when my mind gets ahead of my mouth….it tends to be right about the time I open it up just wide enough to insert my foot. Unfortunately for me, as healthy as I am most of the time, foot-in-mouth disease is an illness that I am afflicted with every now and then. You know how they say you should stop-drop-and-roll when caught in a fire, well I need to stop-think-then-speak when I find my mouth racing along like a fire through a haystack.
The downside to all this, other than the obvious…is that I am not as good a listener as I should be, it's something I really need to work on. When I listen to people, I have to make a conscious decision to turn off my racing mind and concentrate on what they have to say. I find that my writing allows me to purge the ideas that are currently on my mind, which helps me to focus on whomever else is speaking. This is not always an easy task for me, however, just like Otis, I can be taught to pay attention when others speak. He has learned very quickly how to listen to and obey commands from his Mommy and Daddy, and I am pleased to report, he is doing quite well for one so young. As far as his grandmother is concerned, I have high hopes that you CAN teach an OLD dog new tricks!!!
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