How are you?

The common courtesy of a welcome greeting can be heard throughout the hallways and on the phone each day at work. If you are unfamiliar with the so-called routine, let me refresh your memory…

“Hi, how are you?”

“Great, how are you?”

“I’m fine, thanks.”

I’m sure that you have been a participant in a similar exchange from time to time, whenever you happen to run into another person, either on the phone or face to face. Just for the heck of it, and because I get a bit weary of this often times boring banter (just being honest here folks) I mix it up a bit and ask a different question, like “What’s going on?” or “Do you have any fun plans this weekend?” And when someone asks me how I am doing, I like to say “absolutely wonderful” or “I’ll be better when it’s 4:30 and I can leave!”

At times, these back and forth greetings can be a bit awkward, especially when you find yourself walking quickly down a hallway and by the time you’ve answered, you are almost out of sight, so I tend to refrain from the typically responsive “how are you?” part. Let’s face it, sometimes it’s really just easier to smile and say “Hi.” I've had a total stranger ask me how I'm doing...HUH??? I believe this form of greeting is so "rote" people don't even think before they speak. A simple "good morning" or "good afternoon" is a perfectly acceptable alternative in my book.

I honestly believe that most of the time folks just respond with “I’m fine” no matter what is really going on in their life. I can understand the desire for a bit of privacy, however, I’m pleased when a friend is honest and says, “not so great because…..” and actually tells me how they are doing. I don’t mind listening and perhaps lending an ear might be all they need to feel slightly better about whatever is going on. A few minutes of your time may be all that is necessary to offer a word of advice or help to solve whatever issue happens to be troubling them. I’m also more than happy to share whatever news might be the cause of a big smile on any particular day. Isn’t that why we ask in the first place, or is all this just idle chit chat for common courtesy’s sake?

On the other hand, it might be the very same person who greets you each day with a smile, that left their crusty, nasty oatmeal bowl soaking in the sink, that people have to look at for days on end (yes a pet peeve of mine--some folks seem to think a magic fairy will come by and clean it for them...this is a shared kitchen area in corporate america, not your Mom's kitchen sink) Or perhaps they’ve neglected to remove a week old, leftover wilting salad from the fridge and it has begun to turn into a smelly mess sitting next to your lunch bag. How courteous are they actually being now? Thanks for listening to my itty-bitty rant :)

Some of you may be unaware of what particular type of greeting occurs between staff and passengers on a cruise ship, and so I will explain… all cruise ship personnel, are encouraged to greet each and every guest throughout the day either with a “good morning” or “good evening.” I always reciprocate adding a responsive smile and have been known to engage in conversation (who me???) when the situation allows. Over the years, we’ve continued our friendship with a few of the staff members, keeping in touch when we are no longer on board and always very pleased to see our cruise friends when we return to the same ship. We’ve shared meals, drinks, tours, special occasions in their lives as well as ours, and even an occasional walk down memory lane with these people while viewing photographs of distant family members.

Recently on our cruise, I found myself in the ladies restroom on the very first afternoon and ran into a woman whose responsibility it is to keep them spotless for all who enter. She was missing her children at this time of year, and I listened for quite awhile to her description of each child and shared her concern of being so far away from them. During the remaining cruise, whenever I happened to see her again, I greeted her warmly and thought of our conversation as two women who are both mothers, and who miss their children no matter what day of the year it is.

I can't help feeling that the real courtesy we should offer each other, is to be genuine in our thoughtfulness across the board, in all aspects of our life.

That being said, at this time of year, when we are more busy than usual with all that our Christmas preparations require of us…..I hope all of you are well and enjoying the time spent celebrating with family and friends during this season…wishing each one of you....Happy Holidays!