I don't consider myself a writer, but I love to write...I don't consider myself a gourmand, but I love to eat exotic gourmet food...I don't consider myself a photographer, but I love taking photographs....I don't consider myself a fashionista, but I love to put my clothes together to create interesting outfits...I don't consider myself a jewelry designer, but I've been known to take a piece of jewelry apart and reconstruct it more to my liking, and I don't consider myself a travel expert, but I love spending month after month lost in the details of planning our next adventure. I am no different from every other person who wonders...who am I? The obvious response is one that even I can answer...among other things, I'm a daughter, wife, mother, sister, aunt, friend, house keeper, chef, babysitter, animal lover, volunteer, employee, chauffeur, confidant and whatever else describes the many hats that I have worn in my lifetime. At this point in my life, I find I wear fewer of some, more often than any of the others, which truly does suit me.
I have found a couple simple pleasures in my life make what could be, the everyday monotony of living, actually quite interesting. For whatever reason, when we are younger, the goal of every couple is to have a full social calendar and to be all things to all people. Also, it seems to us that bigger must always be better....we are under the illusion that bigger house, bigger car, and a bigger bank account will make you happy. Well, it does not take a college education to understand that the more we accumulate, the more difficult it is to let go of the excessive lifestyle we've created for ourselves. I believe it is very easy to get caught up in that quest to have the best and be the best, with that sky's-the-limit attitude. Unfortunately, in current economic times, I am reminded on a daily basis, that the more you have...the more you have to lose.
By choice, over the last 12 years of our live together, we have made the decision to simplify our lifestyle, which is something that is not even on the radar for some folks our age. Granted we married young (18 & 20), had children young (20/22 & 22/24), and became empty nesters when we were still relatively young (40 & 42). It boggles my mind that some couples are just beginning a family at the same age that we happened to be, when we dropped our second child off as a freshman in college. Please know that I do not stand in judgment of others actions, only observe and compare how each situation differs from my own.
We all struggle at times with the age old question of what am I here for, what is my purpose, what does all of this truly mean? When we choose to have children, are we leaving a little bit of ourselves behind to continue on with the family name and bloodline? I'm aware that very little of what we each accomplish during our lifetime, really matters when all is said and done...and being a realist, I'm ok with that concept. The thought that I do carry with me each day and what brings me a bit of comfort in knowing--I've led a life with no regrets. I made choices that were not always prudent, however, in some instances, the circumstances were not completely under my control. I have found that when you finally do reach a point when you are better able to direct your long range plans, the world becomes a much more peaceful place to live in. Never allow others to make decisions for you, only you should have the power to determine where your life will lead you.
That being said, I'm thoroughly enjoying this time that I've set aside each day to write. It brings me pleasure to once and for all take the ideas that spin around in my head, and put them in some kind of understandable format. Perhaps that is stretching it a bit, at least it's understandable to me...only the author knows for sure the meaning of all these random words. Suffice to say, it's probably a good thing I am the only one living inside my head...for now anyway. For those of you reading along...a brief glimpse may be all you need to quickly turn and run the other way, never to return again to these rambling pages and my endless chatter.
You see it's true...simply put....it appears that I am a writer of sorts....and how do I know this....because you are here, right now, reading my words. Its all so strange, and yet at the same time...pretty darn cool to know that there a few folks who enjoy reading what I have written, as much as I enjoy writing it. So for now, we will continue along on this little journey we are taking together...me into the world of writing, and you into the sometimes quirky world in which I live.
Finally, let me now pose this question......who is the person....that stares back at you?
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