I'm not quite sure when I came to this conclusion, but I believe it's a much healthier way to live your life...did you know that worrying and self-inflicted stress has been found to cause different types of illness? Seriously, with all the other things the human body has to deal with over a lifetime, why give ourselves one more reason to be unhealthy? What's the cure for this oftentimes overwhelming problem? Could it be as simple a solution as "mind over matter?" Is it possible for our rational side to take precedence and have more control of our actions, than our emotional side? I only know that I choose not to worry, so I don't.
You should understand, that in no way does this stop me from considering the downside or the outcome of what might occur, as I make a conscious decision regarding my life. Believe me, I have an over active imagination and can dream up some pretty whack-a-doodle scenarios in my mind, but then common sense takes over, reality sets in and I bring myself back down to earth. It can happen in a split second, I've been known to make life altering decisions in a matter of minutes. I weight the options rationally, play devil's advocate with myself...listen to that little voice of reason, decide accordingly, then let it go and move on to the next item on the agenda. And I'm happy to say, 95% of the time, it appears, at least to me, that I've been making the proper choices.
For example, one Saturday I saw an advertisement in the paper for a new condo development in the next town over from us, about 5 minutes from where we currently lived. I jumped in the car by myself, went for a quick tour, decided I liked it, brought Roger back the next day and before we left the builder's office we had purchased a brand new home which was still under construction. We had never talked about buying a condo, we never talked about Brian changing high school in his junior year, we never talked about moving from the town we had raised the children in for the last 10 years....we just did it.
Similarly, 2 1/2 years later, we were vacationing in Orlando during the month of March, and Roger asked me how I would feel about moving to someplace warmer. We'd had another horrific winter and both of the children were now living away from home full time at college. I recall, waking up very early one morning, standing out on the balcony alone and asking myself if I could live in such a place. As I watched the sun come up, I had an overwhelming feeling, that something was just "right" about us being there. We kept the idea to ourselves for a bit and returned for a quick visit in May to look for a place to live. Luckily, Roger was able to transfer his job in Connecticut to a local office in West Palm Beach. Our condo went on the market and sold in less than 6 weeks, then we packed up and moved to Florida on the very day of our condo closing. If someone had told me in February, that in six short months, I'd be living very happily in the state of Florida, I would have told them they were crazy. We had two children in college at the time, I didn't have a job lined up yet and I'm very sure some of our family did think we were nuts. Here we are 10 years later, and I believe it was one of the best decisions we ever made.
Roger, on the other hand is a worrier....perhaps it's because for at least the last 20+ years, he's held armed security positions, and his employer pays him to be on his guard 10-12 hours a day. I imagine it is difficult to turn that part of your mind off at the end of the business day. Then again, when he was in the military, and the kids were babies, he wanted to either throw the coffee table out the window or pad every piece of furniture in the house, to prevent either of them from getting a bump or bruise. So, I guess that even though I've attempted to talk him down from his "worry ledge" for the last 33 years, that it has proven itself to be a very good balance in our relationship.
All of this leads me to what actually happened as I left for work yesterday....and I ask myself, what are the odds? Knowing that I would be leaving directly from work to drive to Miami and get on the ship, I had packed my suitcase 2 nights beforehand. Because I dislike packing, I was doing everything within my power to avoid any potential travel snafus from occurring early in the morning. Getting out the door for work first thing everyday, is always a "watch the clock" operation. I'm actually one of those people who prides herself on being at my desk on time and with a 5 minute commute, it's really not all that tough. However, when it comes to travel, although I don't worry, I do run a few "what if" scenarios through my head, as I get closer to the time of departure. I made a conscious and rational decision that "nothing will keep me from getting on that ship today." I believe that the power of positive thinking has the ability to carry us through any number of situations. That being said, I'm not sure if I was truly prepared for what occurred next.
My suitcase was packed, and I was ready to go...I asked Roger if he would roll my carry-on down to the car because my hands were full with my work bag and purse. There is very limited space by our front door, a person rolling a suitcase through the narrow area between the couch and the little table in our entrance way, needs to pay special attention to exactly how the bag will fit through this small space. Now let me just preface this by explaining, we have some massive suitcases, and we've pulled them in and out of that doorway hundreds of times without any problem. This was my smallest bag, and there should not have been an issue....except he grabbed the bag and proceeded to walk out the door before I was able to step out of the way.
Yes, he was rushing....yes he was on his way to work and didn't want to be late, and yes, he was doing me a favor by helping me out...which he is always more than willing to do whenever I make a similar request. The planets were just not aligned for me at that moment, or maybe they were, because what happened next, could have had a disastrous outcome. Let's face the facts, no matter how much effort he makes to help, he is not well known for his calm demeanor whenever we are moving en masse, out the door, on a travel day. Think back to my earlier posts when I described his mindset for getting a suitcase down the elevator and into the car...for whatever reason, it's never a very pleasant experience for him. Picture this...he attempts to roll my small bag through the door, in the very limited space that is now available between me and the table, while my back is turned and I am still standing there.
The law of physics were just not in my favor at that precise moment...as the wheel of the suitcase hits the table leg...the huge, heavy, four foot tall, 50-60 lb. wood framed mirror that sits on top of the table and leans against the wall (think entry way table for dropping keys--mirror for checking your lipstick/hair type scenario) comes crashing down on top of my head....you really can't make this stuff up. When I say heavy, this thing is solid as a rock, it's actually the type of mirror that is sometimes used on the top of woman's dresser. I've never really been able to lift it, and if I want it moved, I slide it across the floor. In a split second, both of us were thrown into a potentially life changing situation...and it scared Roger a hell of a lot more than it did me because he actually watched it happen.
After he removed the mirror from on top of my head (at least I think he did, my back was turned so I honestly never saw it coming--the whole scenario had played out behind my back) the first words out of his mouth as he grabbed me in a bear hug were "do you need an ambulance? No!!!! One ride a year, or rather in a lifetime, is more than enough for me--thank you very much--but that's another story. I'm not going to lie to you, it really, really, really hurt...and my head was pounding, but fortunately, I had no immediate side affects, however, Roger was shaking like a leaf. My first request was to ask him to let me go, and as I turned around, I expected to see broken glass all over the floor. I'd heard something very noisy hit the floor when the mirror fell on my head, but come to find out...it was only our plastic change cup (also on the little entryway table) that had fallen and scattered pennies all over the place. What good luck, the mirror that I love and my skull were still in one piece! Hmmm, I wonder if anyone has ever referred to me as hard-headed....I guess I had just proven them to be right :)
So I put on my lipgloss, giggle a little...because let's face it...what had just happened was just a bit crazy, talked Rog off his worry ledge once again, and off we went to get me packed into the car. Of course as we turned to lock the front door, I mumbled under my breath " this is sooooo making it into my blog today." Rog drove his 17 miles to work still shaken and nauseous, and I got to my office a little achey, but none the worse for wear. Throughout the rest of the day, I had a mild headache and later discovered a nice big bump on my head, which fortunately is covered by my hair and I tend to forget about until I attempt to run a comb through it...OUCH! And, as I put my head down on the pillow last night, I was reminded of just how much fun I'd had that morning.
Long story short...as if that would even be possible with me....I actually made it through my short work day (but did warn a few of my co-workers that I might have a possible concussion and if they saw me walking into walls or if my eyeballs rolled back into my head, they might want to take me down to the medical clinic), made my very first drive south on 95 to the port of Miami, and made it to the ship by 1pm.
Somethings in my life go exactly according to plan...other things, not so much. This is my life...this is my world....I really can't ask for anything more...it's just another day in paradise!
Getting ready to sail a way from the port of Miami--name tag--mardigras beads...I'm ready for anything :)
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