Until I was 18 years old and left home to start my own family, I lived in a very rural area of CT, and my mother's parents would make their annual trek from Brooklyn, to the farm town where we were raised. Although at the time, I didn't quite understand the concept, we were often referred to as the "country cousins" in our extended family. Most everyone else remained back in the city when my parents moved away to CT, after my father's job required him to transfer to a new facility. Before our numbers grew to 8, we would pack up the car and make the 3 hour trip to visit our relatives, during the holiday season. As the years progressed, and baby number 6 came along, it was difficult for all of us to travel back to the city, so my grandparents began to visit CT each year for the Thanksgiving holiday.
Jack, Joanne, Jim, Jerry, Justine, Jeff and my dad, John
I am sure the holiday preparation was a lot of extra work for my mother, she was always busy with an infant, toddlers, and some years, there was another baby on the way. We never thought much of her hectic days, and enjoyed having visitors, especially when they arrived bearing gifts. I'm sure my mom was just thankful for another couple sets of hands to lighten her load.
Rose and Pat Grado
My grandparents always appeared with bags full of goodies, home made cookies and breads, candy and of course something else I looked forward to every year, castagne, which is Italian for chestnuts. As a small child, I thought you could only get them in the city, so we had to wait patiently each year, for Grandma and Poppa's visit. I remember Poppa taking out his sharp pocket knife to make a crisscross mark on each hard shell. Although we had a fireplace, it was more practical to pop them into the oven, and after what seemed like hours, their shells would open and they'd become all soft and chewy inside. No matter how good the chestnuts looked, we knew they were much too hot to touch right away.
In our house, we ate Thanksgiving dinner in courses, something that happened at no other time of the year. For the first course, I'd help to pour the tomato juice into small glasses set on each dining room plate. Then, a main meal with turkey, sausage stuffing, sweet potatoes, olives, pickles, cranberry sauce, mashed potatoes, gravy and other assorted side dishes. After everyone was completely stuffed, it was finally time for dessert, and if we had saved just a small bit of room in our tummies, the long awaited dry fruit dish and nut bowl would come out. So many of the items on our Thanksgiving table were only served once a year...it would be another 365 days before we were able to again enjoy some of my holiday favorites. It truly made my taste buds water to know that for one full day, several special treats would be there for my eating pleasure. As an adult, I indulge in all types of foods throughout the year...it almost seems foreign to recall how few times as a child I enjoyed each of them.
Once I was married, became the cook in our family, and started raising our own children, we incorporated many of these items into our weekly meal plan. I found myself roasting a turkey whenever the spirit moved me...we always had olives and dried fruit in the house, and sweet potatoes were a staple on the dining room table throughout the year. We enjoyed nuts as a snack food and pecan pie was always a favorite of mine to whip up for dessert. The one item that was sadly absent, Poppa's castagna and the sweet roasted taste, I missed from my childhood.
At this time in our life, big traditional meals are a thing of the past. I no longer cook a Thanksgiving dinner, nor do we travel north to CT to share a meal with extended family. By the end of next year, our grown children will both be married and have already begun their own holiday traditions with their newly formed families. We know that as grandchildren become a part of our lives, our options on how we spend our time during the holidays, may change yet again.
We traveled from Florida for our last Thanksgiving in CT as a complete family (before 3 more of the grandchildren were born)
Until that time, we find different and interesting ways to spend our free time away from our jobs, over the long holiday weekends. Last year, we chose to travel on back country roads for 10 days and took an extended trip north through Florida's panhandle, over to the gulf states, eventually arriving at our final destination, the city of New Orleans. It was the most relaxing and enjoyable road trip we have ever taken together. We indulged in an incredible seafood buffet on Thanksgiving Day...not one bite of turkey could be found on my overflowing plate.
The holidays are truly what you make of them, traditions are meant to be followed only if they are suited to what works for each family's lifestyle...ever changing over the years, as one generation flows into the next. I learned many years ago that the only person that could take the stress out of the holiday season, was me.
Interestingly, we've been invited to join some friends and their extended family for a Thanksgiving holiday meal. It's a bit of a change for us after quite a few years without a traditional family dinner. I'm looking forward to enjoying the day without any stress, but in the back of my mind I'll be recalling the big meals I shared with my family many years ago. I'll fondly remember my grandparent's visits each November, and those delicious roasted chestnuts Poppa made for us every year.....the everlasting memories of my childhood holiday traditions.
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