Hair I go again....or hair today, gone tomorrow?

As women, we either have very high maintenance hair, or we do not. We either spend a lot of money on our hair products each month, or we do not. We either stick to the latest hair fashion trends and styles, or we do not. We either color our hair every six weeks to cover the grey as is dictated by our hair stylist, or we do not. I am one of the "do nots" in all of the aforementioned categories and live by a very personal choice when it comes to the subject of my hair. I have chosen to keep my hair low maintenance, don't purchase a lot on hair products, don't cut my hair to follow the latest trends or styles, and don't color my hair to cover the grey. Contrary to most women my age, I refuse to jump on board the hair color merry-go-round as I like to call it. For some women, once you buy that first ticket and get on the ride, it's almost impossible to ever get off. Once a very long time ago, I did get my hair colored, in a salon, to cover the gray. I was "blessed" with prematurely grey hair during my early 30's with a white streak on the left side of my head, just at the temple. After a few short months, I got tired of looking at the roots, refused to pay for the expensive salon maintenance, tried coloring it myself and eventually, just cut it all off. Literally, I took a set of electric shears and buzzed my hair to 3/4 of an inch in length, and wore it like that for many years. Low maintenance became my middle name, not only did I cut my own hair, I cut Roger's too. Just think how much we saved in salon fees over all those years!!! And, I firmly believe, that if a couple of very special ladies had not come into my life, I would still, to this day, probably have the same short grey buzz cut as I did back in 2005.





So simple, so low maintenance, so me

Throughout the course of our lives, we meet and befriend folks from many different walks of life, from many different backgrounds, and from many different parts of the world. I met each of these women in the exact same manner, through my office at work. One, in 2003, and the other a few years later in 2006. I consider myself lucky that I can refer to many of my co-workers as friends, and I'm happy to say, we also enjoy each other's company outside the confines of our jobs. You can't even begin to imagine my combined concern, when it was discovered that they had both been diagnosed, within weeks of each other, to be suffering from the very same life threatening illness. One that would result in both of them enduring almost a year of debilitating treatments and numerous subsequent complicated surgeries. Throughout the ongoing months of medical care, they learned very quickly to keep a positive attitude and to persevere through what I am sure, was the most difficult times in both of their lives. They taught me so much about strength, courage and just how important the power of love is to the process of healing our bodies, hearts and minds. Unfortunately, during the course of their battle against this illness, they sadly both lost their beautiful hair. In the past, I had heard of women banding together and shaving their heads in support of their suffering friends and I wanted to do something to show my love for them and my compassion for their loss. I immediately realized that shaving my head would be the least expressive gesture that I could make, as I already had extremely short hair. Shaving the remainder of it off seemed to me, to be a rather shallow attempt at showing my support for all they were experiencing during this tough battle.





Headbands, curlers and perms....oh my!

It soon occurred to me, growing my hair out, as they were losing theirs, would be the only hardship I could imagine. You should understand, I loved my short, worry free, no muss-no fuss hair...it was my "look" and I had come to really embrace my freedom from all things hair related. I'd also been wearing this hair style for so long, I'd pretty much forgotten what a time consuming effort the upkeep of hair can be. Lets face it, I was just plain lazy, wanted absolutely nothing to do with maintaining a different look, and was quite happy to keep things status quo for the rest of my life. However, my love and support for both of them, set this personal challenge in motion and I finally decided to let the growing begin. At this point, you are probably thinking, what a strange way for me to show my solidarity with these two women...here they were facing this health crisis and a long arduous journey without hair, and I was going to grow mine right before their eyes??? Well, nothing could be further from the truth, they both enjoyed and were quite entertained while watching my hair grow. And, let me tell you, there were numerous conversations, and lots of giggles during my struggle with this new found mop on top off my head. If anyone has ever grown out there hair from a very short length, you can understand, it's plain and simply just NOT fun!





Struggling to find what worked....this one...not so much :(

I do recall many months, after the completion of their treatments, of watching them dealing with their own slow re-growth and trying to figure out how to work with the seemingly, never ending growing-out process. We swapped ideas and a few times we were all sporting similar hairdos. There were many days in the months (which turned into years) following my "brilliant" decision, when I just wanted to pull out those shears and go back to my easy, carefree look. Interestingly enough, and much to my surprise, that actually never happened. I began to embrace the subtle change that having all this hair in my life brought to me. People I worked with for years, didn't recognize me at a brief glance. Folks that I hadn't seen in a long time, were amazed at the transformation.





Little by little, I began to accept the change and embrace it...wow, I had a head FULL of grey hair...a bit of a shocker after ten years of looking at nothing on top of my head

I looked in the mirror at one point and realized I actually liked this new look.....after all the time, energy and money (perms, endless products, electronic devices, haircuts, and eventually straightening--grey hair is SO unruly and coarse) I had dedicated to years of growing out my hair, I was slowly beginning to appreciate this new phase in my life....me with a head full of hair!!! Four years later, I'm still wearing this long grey hair. I've made peace with the idea of dedicating the extra time and effort I need each morning to look presentable (ponytails on the weekend are a lifesaver). I've settled on a hairstyle that works for me, without multiple products, color, monthly haircuts or the latest style. It's simple and it's me.





It was slowly becoming a part of who I am today...how could something as insignificant as the length or loss of ones hair, play such an important role in my life?

Of course, not in a million years would I ever compare this teeny tiny personal battle I had entered into regarding my hair, with the uphill struggle they were experiencing, on an ongoing basis. They both found so much inner strength and managed to become such fighters, to overcome each obstacle that came their way. It was my goal to initiate a small change in my appearance in hopes that I could understand, even on a miniature level, the major changes they were facing every day in their lives. It is just not possible for me to ever comprehend what either of my dear friends were going through, although I have witnessed, for the last 4 years, their heroic journey, and ultimate victory over this disease. I love you both L and S, you are truly an inspiration to all the lives that you have touched. At best, it is a constant struggle to accept the losses that occur during our lifetime. It is my continuing goal, to embrace all that life throws at me, the good the bad and the ugly. It is not always about what happens to us...instead, it's how we deal with the adversity in our lives, that strengthens our spirits and makes us who we are as people. I honestly believe that we are not simply human beings in search of a spiritual experience.....but rather spiritual beings enduring and struggling through this human experience.





With the love of my wonderful family surrounding me....I feel that nothing is impossible