First of all, they start out as babies and I've always been in love with babies, no matter who they belong to...like most of the human population of the world, I'm a sucker for those sweet little faces. Although, I have to say, it goes a bit deeper than that, I'm very comfortable around babies and have no fear about my ability to care for them. Even with my own infants, there were rarely doubts in my mind that I would not have what it takes to raise them in the manner that would ultimately lead to their individual wellbeing as they grew up. I was confident that I could make sound decisions and had the necessary parenting skills to assist my children in the first 18 years of their lives before sending them on out into the world. Did I stumble along the way....of course I did, nothing else teaches us how to improve on our technique like a big bump in the road...and I had my fair share of those. However, the proof is in the pudding as they say, and now as we finally welcome the next generation of our family, I watch my adult children beginning the cycle once again.
Brian, Taryn and Hopper live in Chicago...and no one in the immediate family lives nearby, which at times is a hard pill for all of us to swallow. Ironically, it's a situation that we are dealing with, in pretty much the same way our parents did when we lived overseas and had our first child. We raised our children to be independent, make rational decisions about where they want to live and always hoped they would find a way of life that suits them, and each of us...parents, grandparents and great grandparents, have found ourselves doing exactly that. Across the miles....from Massachusetts, to Illinois, to Connecticut, to New Hampshire and Florida...each of us a pinpoint on the map and adding up the frequent flyer miles as we travel from one home to another. The reality that none of us will live in close proximity to the other, is one we have grown to accept, but not entirely without regret. The independence that we nurtured in our children, similar to the guidance we received from our parents, can at times, be a double edged sword.
In retrospect, I also see the benefits of a couple standing on their own two feet as they form a new family unit, without the constant intervention of the preceding generations. I myself know that I matured greatly in my growth as a new mom by not always having my own mother close at hand. I've witnessed grandparents over the years, of close knit families who live physically near each other, struggle to step back from influencing and assisting their grown children in raising grandchildren. In some instances, I have found the situations to be unhealthy for all parties concerned. There is a fine line and/or gray area in all family relationships that can be difficult to maneuver through, especially with addition of new members, whether it be children or extended family. As we continue to add branches to the family tree, the connections can be tenuous at best and new growth takes time to strengthen over the years.
Only three years ago, the first hint of things to come began to give us a glimpse of what is now our reality. First in the summer of 2008, with Brian and Taryn's engagement and then their fall wedding in 2009....followed in 2010 by Stacey & Scott's engagement and the news that our son would soon be a father in the spring of 2011. We are planning another fall wedding this year and recently welcomed our first grandchild, Hopper Higgins LaFlamme to the family on June 20, 2011.
As we encounter each change in our family dynamics, we continue to grow ourselves...taking on new roles and finding our way through the never ending challenges of life as we know it.
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